Identity = Self-Worth
The person you spend the most time with is definitely yourself. Yet, you are not quite sure how much you really know about this person, which is you!
We take personality tests way too many times if we’re honest! We read about horoscopes, zodiac signs, enneagram, MBTI, strengths finder, spiritual gifts inventory and yes, blood types in hopes of finding out who we are.
This pseudo-obsession with finding our identity is understandable to some degree. Knowing who we are and where we’ve come from leads us to who we’re supposed to be and where we’re supposed to go. It is when we have a proficient knowledge of our identity that we may be able to pursue our vision and purpose in life.
One aspect of identity is a sense of self-worth: We need a constant reminder and assurance that we are valued and accepted.
People’s desire to know their identity is intimately linked to their desire to feel loved.
People argue that you don’t need anyone to tell you how worthy or valuable you are. You just tell yourself that you are worthy and valuable. That’s enough! You only need self-respect! Who cares about what the others think of you?
But the truth is, humans are social animals and we do need approval from other humans in order to have a healthy self-image. When you receive love and praise from others and they recognize and value your personhood, you begin to believe that you are worthy and valuable. Viola! You have healthy self-esteem. Congratulations! You are now ready to love yourself.
How To Get A Healthy Sense Of Self
In order to have a healthy sense of self, the place to begin is not yourself. You need to look outside yourself to find love and acceptance. And the “fine print” is that love and acceptance outside yourself are not given freely. They must be earned.
This is why many people strive to perform and create results in order to earn the respect and acceptance from others. Look what I can do! Look what I’ve done! Who am I now? Don’t I deserve your love?
Another way of creating one’s own deservedness, they have a standard that’s too high for themselves. They are too strict on themselves. They beat themselves down too much. They never forgive themselves for their past mistakes. If any of these has been you, please stop. There’s a different path.
There is an alternative to receiving self-worth.
- In this way, you don’t earn self-worth. It’s freely given.
- In this way, you are not measured by what you have contributed.
- In this way, you receive love, forgiveness, acceptance and value all at the same time.
This just sounds too good to be true. Counterintuitive. Inconceivable. Many choose to ignore the way. Perhaps, you’ve been avoiding it too for a similar reason.
- The way says you are created in the image of the Creator (Genesis 1:27).
- The way says you are chosen in love before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4).
- The way says you are accepted as beloved child (Ephesians 2:19).
The way says your identity, your sense of self-worth, comes from God who created you, chose you, and adopted you as beloved.
No strings attached. It’s simply called, grace. And it’s waiting to be embraced.
